Today was a great day, woke up early got to church on time received as much of the message i could be cause my lil one (leah) didn't want to sit she wanted to walk around in the back but i was still able to hear my message, i always say "my message" because i always feel like pastor is talking to me personally todays message was not to get caught up into todays system and allow things or lusts to overtake us i definitely need to hear that even though i'm not a shopper or "things" chaser but i do need to get priorities in order and better budget my finances. After service Kevin and I had our first premarital class today i already know i'm going to benefit so much from this class not only me but kevin as well, Our pastor asked a group of us if we had to choose between being married to the person next to me (kevin) and being blessed by god or going for our personal dreams which would we choose i could say without even thinking or a doubt i would choose kevin being married to a man like him is a dream and the dreams we can make and accomplish together is way bigger then i could ever dream alone, so i am very excited about this class. We honestly wanted to be married before Hannah was born but the class wont be over till the middle of may but thats ok at least we are finally getting it done, kev and i were talking about getting married sometime either the end of september or beginning of october either around our birthday his is sept 29 and mines is oct 2 or on our anniversary which is october 12 we will see where god steers us. Now when i think about anything after may i wonder will hannah be alive or just a memory in my heart only time will tell.....
Hannah is growing these kicks are getting stronger and stronger and i'm getting bigger n bigger it bewilders me sometimes if it wasn't for the doctors appointments i wouldn't remember that i'm carrying a baby diagnosed with trisomy 18 a baby who some doctors feel has no chance, this pregnancy has been the best out of all the my pregnancies no morning sickness nothing just a normal pregnancy its just crazy to me but i'm not in charge my LORD is in charge and i know he will give me an answer. Lately i haven't been reading my bible the way i should i'm letting other non important things get in the way of my spiritual reading and i really need to keep that connection right now he's the main reason i'm getting through this i cant afford to lose that connection i already feel my thoughts and mindset changing i feel my fears creeping up on me so tomorrow i am back on it. I have a busy week ahead of me more appointments i will definitely keep you guys updated on those appointments well thats about it for today thank you for all those who read this and give me such positive feedback im really happy i started this blog its very therapeutic, Goodnight friends...
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