Today was just one of those i didn't want to get up out of bed, didn't want to do or go anywhere just lay in my bed but i have a one year old so i had to get out of bed, i was just BLAH of course the day im out of it leah is energized as ever and kevin had to run an errand so it was just me and leah i couldn't wait until her nap time so i could go back to bed and just lay there. While i waited she played i went on a trisomy 18 organization website, signed up made my own profile as i was reading some other moms stories i felt so blessed there was one lady her baby was diagnosed with trisomy 18 this is her FIRST baby like wow that would've blown my mind i don't think i would've been able to deal with it the way i am today if this had happened to me on my first pregnancy my girls are the main reason i am getting through this. Nap time finally came around we went to sleep leah woke up but i wasn't ready i needed more sleep i think my body was just really tired its hard sleeping at night trying to get comfortable with a big ol belly, the bathroom runs by time i fall into the deep sleep its after 5am thankfully kevin came home so he took leah and i went back to sleep. I woke up around 4pm i felt so much better i slept for 4 hrs uninterrupted, Honestly before the nap i thought i was going through some type of depression i just felt so out of it but after that nap i was back to myself thank god i have so much stuff to be thankfully for i refuse to let this unfortunate time make me depressed or bitter. Its friday so we picked kairi from school so good to see my pumpkin i wasn't i wasn't planning on it but shenna made sure i came over to her house i usually do go over there on fridays to spend time with my god son amir and Shenna's family but today i so blah i just told myself i wasn't going nowhere but home to jersey but shenna wasn't having it she called wanting to know where i was long story short i went over there and like she said i wouldn't regret it and i didn't, i never do her family is my second family so its always a pleasure going over there the kids love going over there both of them spent a lot of there time in her house.
Hannah was her usually self quite in the morning bouncing around in the afternoon until evening then it starts slowing down by night time its quite again with the exception of a few jabs here and there i cant wait to see her little face and hold her at the same time i dont want to rush the time this might be the most time hannah and i have to together im optimistic but at the same time realistic either way im just enjoying my time with her, right now our bond is growing stronger and stronger everyday just like our bond is growing stronger the fight in is growing stronger too i will fight for my babies life as long as theres a will god will make a way im sure of it...well thats it for tonight. love and be loved
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