It hurts my heart to day Hannah is back in the hospital, she suddenly stopped breathing yesterday morning, she is stable now back on a breathing machine called a BY-pap its a pressurized machine that pushes oxygen into the lungs. The doctors are unsure as to why she stopped breathing but with her diagnoses it could be anything they did an x-ray that showed some stuff going on on the left side of her lungs it could be an pneumonia or some mucus build up there giving her antibiotics just in case, a lot of her blood labs were elevated and last night she spiked a fever of 102 this morning it was 101.1 so there giving her tylenol it broke her fever now she back to her normal temp. There running cultures on her to make sure theres no infection other then that she's resting comfortably. I am so happy to have my kevin because of him our little girl is still here he started CPR on her and kept her with us until the ambulance came i still cant believe that happened it all happened so fast i'm still shaken up, i'm just happy she's still with us. I keep blaming myself thinking what could i have done differently but all the doctors keep saying there isn't much i could've done considering her diagnoses...but it doesn't make me feel any better.
Im here sitting with her thanking god for more time with hannah it wasn't her time yet she still has so much to teach me about life and i have so much to give her, so much kisses,hugs, love and i almost lost my time. This is harder then i thought it would be the fact that i might lose my daughter breaks my heart only people who have gone through this can understand what i am feeling but i know god would not have given me this beautiful angel if he didn't think i could handle this so im going to do this with a smile on my face and heart everyday. Because of Hannah i have met some incredible people, people who are now my friends/family they care for Hannah as if she were there own Doctor,nurses, and other staff when i have to go home to tend to leah i know Hannah's in good hands she's like a little celebrity here, different staff come in to check on Hannah some come to keep her company or to hold her lol its blessing to have so many people care about my lil Hannah. Out of all the people here at hackensack university hospital there are two very special women here who have come into my family's life and done some things (positive of course) Sue and Dr. Jamie Beversdorf they are god sent it went from a doctor patient relationship to now i call them our friends they have done there job and beyond since we found out about Hannah's diagnoses, they have been with us helping with decision making, understanding the diagnoses etc. I asked GOD to put the right people in our life's those who will have our best interest at heart and he did exactly that with Sue and Jamie. GOD bless them both. Well im about to go home and cuddle up with my mini me (leah) dad has the night shift with Hannah tonight. Keep us in your prayers.....
PSALM 100
1.Make a joyful shout to the lord, all you lands!
2.Serve the Lord with gladness; Come before his presence with singing.
3.Know that the Lord, He is God; It is He who has made us,and not we
ourselves; we are his people and the sheep of his pasture.
4.Enter into his gates with thanksgiving and into his courts with praise. be thankful
to him, and bless his name.
5. For the lord is good; his mercy is everlasting, and his truth endures to all generations.
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