REALITY..

Hi everyone, these past few days have been so crazy and busy we had to move over the weekend even though i didnt do anything it was still tiring im so thankful for kevin he really stepped in and did his thing as he always does, we found a really nice place im excitied about moving in we officially move in tomorrow but i will officially go there friday im happy we found a place before my due date i was worried about that but relieved we did with gods help of course.  Thursday i will be 39 weeks its coming so quickly reality is starting to set in.  2 moms from different parts of the world gave birth to babies with trisomy 18 this week... one lived and one passed away at birth, i've given my situation to god and asked him to do what he sees fit but that doesnt mean my fears go away it doesnt mean i know im going to get what i want...when i start thinking or feeling like this i know its my flesh the human way of thinking. I told someone  how i was feeling  they told me "they were worried about my faith in this situation" I was speechless, in the beginning of this i had some faith not that strong  but through out this i've been walking on nothing but faith, my faith through out this has grown so much what i realized at that moment is no matter how much people are in my corner supporting me in my decision im still alone unless you have gone through this you dont and wouldnt know what it feels like that is why i am so thankful for the moms i do have to speak to on a regular basis that have been through this they give me so much strength to know regardless what happens i will be ok, i will be strong, i will live for me and my family.

I've been feeling a lot of pressure and she's dropped so i know its gonna happen soon i want her to wait til at least may 1st Hannah could come anyday after that not too far after that she has until may 3rd then we starting the eviction process lol a part of me wishes i could keep her in there forever where i know she's safe but the other part is like this baby has got to get out now!!!. I am so excited to meet Hannah my first time meeting an angel she's changed my life so much for the good and i will always love her for that, deep down i have a feeling i haven't seen anything yet she's going to do so much more in mine and other peoples life.  All the parents who have gone through this tell me the samething be selfish with her enjoy every minute i have with her and kevin of course and thats exactly what i plan on doing being selfish and enjoying my angel until god calls her home weither thats minutes,hours,days,months or years im going to enjoy my daughter and let her know she is loved by so many people. 

Psalms 139 verse 13-14
13 For you formed my inward parts; you
covered me in my mothers womb. 14 I will
praise you,for i am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are your works, And that my soul knows
very well.